14 July 2011

I wonder, is it so bad?

It seems our girls are out to catch fun at whatever cost. Seeing as we now have another death under mysterious circumstances of a college girl. Just this month a university student was murdered and by unknown people. The cause of her death has not yet been determined, and now this? Another college student studying journalism was found dead at some lodging in Nairobi. What is similar in both cases is that both these two girls met their death while out having overnight fun with friends.
Interesting to note is the fact that in both cases the girls seem to have been intent on going out abeit in dubious circumstances. In the case of the latest death, the girl in question was out drinking with a foreign friend. And while there, her boyfriend did show up and an argument ensued. Now that in itself tells a lot. Wrong place at the wrong time.
No wonder some people are making business out of relationships. Now in Kenya, one can have their spouse or friend tracked to the last detail with recordings. And it is no cheap task. Interesting to note, people are paying so much for the service. Maybe they just need to know just where they stand in the relationship. Which means that they have reason to doubt their partner. Even among the young.
I watch the program cheaters sometimes. I'd say I always feel for the one that has been cheated on. It is so humiliating to discover that someone that you hold dear to your heart is having it with someone else. What I wonder is how the graphic discovery aids in the person's esteem. I saw one such episode where a lady, married for the last thirty or so years, came out spitting venom at her husband on being caught out. She accused him of not finding time to be with her. And thus justified her having an affair. Now that got me thinking, how many times do married people disregard some complaints from their partner as mere bragging just to suffer the same fate later? Whereas if they actually did hear what it is the partner was saying and took some action a disaster might have been averted. In the case of this couple on cheaters, the husband was actually on set later admitting that he might have caused his wife to stray!
Which brings to fore the damage that occurs when those in a relationship are not listening to their partners. It is obvious that a partner may not provide the all-round needs of the other. In which case then the two need to work at finding an amicable way of letting each one pursue their different interests without suspicion.
The latest girl that died was obviously with someone other than she should have been with. And the dubious circumstances could have led to her death. Obviously, her boyfriend who turned up later felt cheated.
The need for openness in relationships is obvious. This might not go well with the partner but at least they do get the message that they need to work at it. And the partner gets a chance to air their feelings. In which case noone has an excuse to do wrong.
What has changed is that more and more people, now more than ever are willing to give up on their relationships at the slightest disillusionment. It seems that the minute one discovers something they do not like in a partner then off they go. Any relationship comes with a degree of committment. And one does not just get up one day and decide that it's off. Partners need to walk together. But most important listen to what it is the other is telling them. Lest they get the message from less appealing sources.

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