23 May 2012


We are seeing an upsurge of people either taking their lives or those of the ones that they love. While many urgue that it is a result of poor parenting I beg to differ. Many such people just have poor coping mechanisms and do not have someone keen enough to notice changes of behaviour.

I have had the privilege to speak to someone who was having suicidal tendencies. He narrated to me how he would get this overwhelming feeling of helplessness come over him which would leave him depressed and looking for reprieve. In his case he turned to alcohol and did drugs. This would be of temporary relieve to him but the depression continued.

In the event that no one notices the change of behaviour, this person will eventually get hooked on drugs or alcohol not because he wishes to but in search of a way to escape the prevailing situation. But if someone close is keen enough to notice behaviour changes early then the situation could be saved.

It is amazing how quickly people dismiss suicide and other addictions as stemming from bad upbringing. This is a shortcut to bury our heads to the underlying factors that lead to this. While upbringing does have an effect on a person, it cannot be the culprit to the circumstances faced and a persons ability to deal with such.
I know for sure there are lots of people behind bars who should be in hospital instead. But such languish behind bars and do not even understand their actions. Except they find the all time healer Jesus Christ they leave the correction centres none the better.

We all need to be more involved with each other. The church has a big role to play in stepping in to correct behaviour and identifying those who may need further help. This is with close partnership with professionals trained for the job. If we all purpose to be our brothers' keeper and get involved with each other we shall have fewer people taking the easy way out.

Today is the burial of one such young person who took his life. A seemingly normal young lad going about life but then at some point decided he could not take it anymore. It is a sad state of affairs for all who loved him. They have to bear with the pain of the loss and perhaps guilt of what they might have done differently. Yet in all this the blame may not be theirs.

In olden days, the strong social fabric worked to ensure that people in society were responsible for each other. There was no two ways about it. If you found a young man misbehaving one had a right to stop him and seek to know his reason and even met out discipline on him. This kept people within the set boundaries because it was more like big brother was always watching. And could be anywhere.

Today with the self actualisation of independent lifestyle we are ill equipped to handle some issues in life alone. The fact that your neighbour does not care if you drink too much and sleep on your doorstep is working against us. It is this casual state of affairs that is plunging us further into dilemma. If we don't go back to the Bible teachings and be our brothers' keeper nothing will change. We might have to watch as others self destruct and feel nothing.

It is time we all wake up to the fact that there is no replacement to the human touch. Technology cannot replace the feel of flesh and blood relationship we have with one another. More meaningful relationships happen when we take time to relate with each other and offer a shoulder when all is not well. It is as God meant it to be. I believe he knows what  is better for us more than we do sometime.

08 May 2012


It was designed to be a culmination of the love between husband and wife. The expression of the ultimate feelings brought on by their love for one another. It was meant to be within the confines of the marriage covenant. But that is fast changing.

Sex is the ultimate expression of love between two people whose love is so deep that words cannot adequately express how they feel. These two people who have made a commitment that what they feel for one another is so true that they are willing to forsake all others to be with each other. It is a seal of a life commitment made.

But things are changing. Now more than ever, the marriage institution is facing more challenges than have ever been seen before. It is no longer considered necessary for a couple to have any form of commitment. Sex comes cheap as such many wonder why they need commitment when they can have it anytime with no strings attached. And this is the breakdown of the family set up.

Familiarity breeds contempt. Even in a marriage situation there needs to be something other than feelings to hold it together. Because when the youth years are gone and what remains are embers from yester years, there has to be a reason for two people to remain together.

Sex has been made cheap. Because it is what sells it is being used in business circles to provide the lure for sale. It is ridiculous to liken a smooth car engine with the flow of passion. Even more twisted to compare a bottle of beer to a woman caught in throes of passion.

The effect of all this negative portrayal of sex is that what God meant as a sacred reserve for marriage has become a tool to tantalise and lure people for all the wrong reasons. The commercials have become competition at depicting different scenarios of lust all packaged to sell. And sell they do. Because even with the negative portrayal sex still holds mystery.

There is magic when two people who genuinely love one another express this within the confines of marriage. To begin with, the two are at peace in knowing that theirs is a blessed union thus have nothing to hide. With no guilt and no holds barred sex in marriage is just the way God intended it to be.

In contrast what we are witnessing are people who jump the broom straight from binge drinking and are left with nothing in their arms when all the alcohol evaporates from their heads but regret. There is a whole generation of people who use sex for mere gratification and are not willing to commit further.

The book song of songs details the joy of two lovers who come together in true belonging. Nothing compares to the rich expression of their passion. Hidden in those words are feelings between two people who treasure their love for one another. These two yearn for each other. They possess each other thus lay claim each of the other. Theirs is love that thrives on the understanding that each belongs to the other. 

These two nurture their love. They openly express their feelings to each other. They take time to appreciate their different forms. Nothing is taken for granted. They appreciate their differences and openly marvel at each aspect of their differences. Theirs is a relationship born out of investing time together and being fully committed to their love.

How contrarily to those fleeting feelings that come with heightened passion. When two people who barely know each other come together just to quench the fires of their passion and remain none the better for no bond can come out of such! These are the ones who do not get to know the true bond of love and the security of claiming another in love. They come together purely for selfish reasons thus deny themselves the privilege of loving and having being loved exclusively by their one.

There is nothing that comes close to loving and being loved exclusively by the one in a blessed union. Those around approve of such. And above all, God in heaven blesses and smiles on the two with love.