Anyone who has ever been in a situation whereby only God can save you will identify with me. It has been a gruelling time for me. It has been a time when there is no need of telling anyone what it is that bothers you. Because sincerely, no one can fit in your shoes. The last two weeks have been my time in the garden. Let me explain.
I listened to a favourite televangelist speak about the seasons of our lives. He spoke about night seasons. About God of my tight places. I needed that message at that time. Jesus went through three phases agonising the cross. Started out with the wilderness experience. If you have been through that one you know. I identify with the loneliness because it is a time of alienation. A time when you look around and realise that most of your friends are gone. For me, several years ago, it was a time that God used very well to prove to me that he does supply all my needs. It was a very useful lesson on depending on him.
Then came the garden experience this last two weeks. Jesus went through this the night before crucifixion. He reached out to those closest to him to pray with him in the garden. Yes, they were loyal and went along with him. But pray they didn't. He found them asleep! The garden experience is one where by all around you seems to be going on well. Those around you may sense that all is not well with you. But know little else. I smiled through my garden experience these last two weeks. But inside I was falling apart. Literally.
It is tough acting like all is well when you just want to stand on a rooftop and scream. I took this time to challenge God. I asked him questions no one else could answer. I spoke to him, literally. It has not been easy these two weeks. At some point I would cry so hard my eyes all puffed up. Then I would wash my face and put on a smile. I hang on to God's promises, my lifeline. Tough time, that.
Alas, the light is shining. It is always darkest just before dawn. I know for sure that storms in our lives serve to make us strong. The calm that follows is something to treasure. Then again, how can we be victors when we have not been at war. It is only one who has come out of battle that he knows the taste of victory. And appreciates it well. I know that my tears were not in vain. I know that God is fighting my battles for me. It may not be through a method I am familiar with but he is. I am convinced because I am beginning to see some light.
There is a peace that comes in knowing that God is in control. Being who he is, the creator of the universe, he knows all that will happen in our lives. He is so mighty that with him on our side we need not worry. But sometimes we do. Because all could seem so dark. But he is in control. Sitting on his throne. I know for sure that he is God of promise. It is claiming the promise that at times is agonising.
Am more convinced now that there is power in prayer. I have witnessed so much change when I pray. I also know that God treasures our earnest petitions. They are what moves his heart to move obstacles in our lives. Yes, this day, I am convinced more than ever that he is more than able. I carry a great testimony of God's faithfulness. And strength. With him all things are possible. Nothing, not even our tears are in vain.