03 August 2011

It is incredible, this bond.

I remember the first time he held her in his arms. She had just come into this world and it was their first meeting. I remember noticing that she just seemed so snug in his arms. And for the first time opened her eyes. I smiled though I was so tired.

Hubby and our last born are so close. Sometimes I think they read each other's minds. The bond started way back. Even as a little baby only he would soothe her. He would lay her on his laps and bingo, she would soon float off to sleep. Something the rest of us might have been trying a whole afternoon. He learnt to sing to her. Made up songs that must have sounded like angel music only to her.

There have been incidences that have driven the two closer still. I watch these two and get the understanding of a father's love anew. But my heart aches too. For all the children that have never experienced a daddy's love. I wonder how it might feel. No one to fall back on. No one to call on for strength and protection only daddy offers. I hurt for the ones who have not experienced love but pain in their daddy's hands. There is comfort though that  God is a loving father. It only takes for them to reach out to him.

While we all go around with our business, we rarely stop to think of the role that a father plays in shaping his children. Let aside the provisions but a daddy who plays out his God-given role is worthy of honor. Sad to say, in this age dads are not taking their roles seriously. Young dads who did not mean to begin parenting find themselves in a position they did not bargain for and the only way is to beat a hasty one. Leaving behind equally young mothers who have little or no support to bring up the child.

Even mature daddy's do not escape the blame. There are countless children who only identify with their daddy as a source of income. Conversation is limited and only when necessary. These children grow up with a distorted picture of what a father should be. They have no feel of a daddy's love, no special memories with that special person in their lives.

I once listened to one such lady. All grown up now and working. She was having some issues in her relationship. Listening to her rant and rave all I could hear was a cry for love. The man in her life was all loving to her but with no experience at love she did not know how to love him back. Instead she was inwardly looking for something to lay him blame for. I thought how different the scenario might have been if she had come from a background of an involved father. She might have identified some of what she was going through from such a previous exprience.

Children grow up watching their parents. They are watching everything from the way daddy treats mummy. Even when things are not well between the two they see. They learn that relationships can be worked out when they see the two most important people in their lives come back together after falling out from a misunderstanding. They learn that daddy reacts differently from mummy about issues. These lessons, they take into their adulthood. And are beneficial.

And so as I watch hubby with our little girl I hope that she is learning from his being there. That she will know enough about how to relate with the opposites in a healthy way. That even as she goes through life the knowledge of his love for her will give her strength to handle whatever it it that may come her life's way. That she will grow up, secure in daddy's love.

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