15 August 2011

Do teenagers have a mind of their own, really?

I have read enough literature on teens to last me a lifetime. But still nothing has helped me understand the workings of the mind one such in my household. I mean, how do I understand that the little baby I cuddled in my arms just a few years ago would rather I was invisible to her lately? How is it that I can no longer have a mom-to-girl talk with her without being accused of invading her space? Can someone explain to me when I stopped being her mommy and acquired a set of horns on my head?

It was kind of comforting to read an article this past saturday on the woes of having a teenager. I kept nodding all the way down to the last sentence and it was comforting for me to realize that what I suffer is a natural phenomenon. But that did little to explain the state of affairs. I laughed aloud when I read with glee the part about rolling eyes. I mean, why do teens today feel that they have to roll their eyes to get the not-so-pleasant message accross? And size one up in such a way that implies that they-feel-nothing?

The author of the article must have had it with her teenager. Because she sounded warning that soon the teenager would go past that stage into responsible adulthood. Often times I am just wondering if my teenager will ever regain her feelings someday and get a feel of being family with us again. That's because right now the family that appears to have more influence on her is her peers. And if you ask me, that is the perfect picture of a two-horned beast complete with a tail and fangs. Cross-eyed too.

You see, peer pressure being the undoing of most is what causes most teens to veer right off the road and suffer immeasurable misery to themselves and family. And so the sooner a family realises that they are fighting with influence born of someone else's teen who does not necessarily hold the same beliefs as theirs, the better for them. Then they can begin to gather the right arsenal to hit back. I have realised that denial works well. Especially of gadgets that usually fall in the wrong hands of the youth.

I am even beginning to enjoy myself. But I wonder how long my joy will last. Teens always find a way of bursting your bubble. But lately I find joy in saying no to what I should agree to with no effort.  I find myself wishing that someone would come up with a tracker for teens. A mind reader. Or that a few years of youth would be frozen. Then the teen can come back to consciousness when they are much older and responsible. And know better. Crazy musings of a mom dealing with a classic teen.

I got to hear stories from other moms of the tales of their teens. Some were downright crazy. But most of them were told by mothers, voices full of emotion and eyes wide open for emphasis on how their once little darlings have turned into tormentors of sorts. And so I realized that parents everywhere need to pray for safe passage for their kids as early as when they are born. That should help cushion them against the events in their lives that the parents may have little control over.


2 comments:

Tracey said...

Yep...our teens can drive us nuts! My advice keep pursuing them and don't give up! I have an 18 year old daughter and a 15 year old son. I once wrote an article titled "Teen Beast Revealed" so I get it! Just keep pursuing no matter how much they push back, their interests need to become your interests! We also do fun things together as a family and with other families - group fun is always good! Hang in there mom! Blessings, Tracey

Milli said...

Thanks Tracey. Kids are different and respond differently to circumstances. It gets difficult if a teen has no mind of her own-so to say. But all the same, I will do all that I can.