09 November 2011

To love and to cherish

Cherish. Such a sweet word. It just rolls off the tongue. It holds deep meaning too when you cherish a person. With that comes nurturing as well as holding dear. No wonder this word was coined in the marriage vows.


It feels good when one knows that they are cherished. There is a good feeling knowing that you are of good value to another. It is a deep rooted desire of most ladies(did I hear all) to have someone cherish them. And with that comes the desire to have someone who to call your own.


Starts early in life too. I remember growing up we used to play the parent game. Complete family set up with a daddy and mommy and some unfortunate kids who were forced to do our will. Even at that age, we realised the importance of the roles played out and more often than not the mommy would be this easy girl who was approachable but could be stern at times. On the other hand daddy would be this little boy, who we'd manage to coax into the role.


Now then, it is rather disheartening listening to ladies nowadays actually go on about how they are not into the marriage thing. It is hard enough listening to them going on about how unreliable the brothers come these days. What I glean from the ladies is that they have no problem being on their own and only need the brothers to help them make a baby or two and soon they are on their way. If you ask me, I would rather one who has tried out a relationship that did not work out than just deciding mm-mm that's not for me.


Two problems present in this scenario. The children that come out of this are usually lost for lack of an identity. They do not identify well (if any) with the absent parent and thus one area in their development is not well defined. The other problem with this is that much later on this parent realises that they need companionship and usually this comes too late in life. You see, human beings are cut out for company and the more intimate the better.


For those of us who have made a life commitment the challenge is to continue to hold dear that who we are married to. Given, we could be tempted to take for granted that we have one who will always be on our side. But God in his wisdom appointed that we do not forget our responsibility to our beloved. And this can be expressed in so many ways.


It doesn't mean that the cherished one is without fault but we cherish them still. Not withstanding that they do not qualify some of the time. Or most. But just knowing that they are cherished is the oil to keep the commitment alive. Simply put it means that they will never be without the affection of the one that holds them dear. Now, if that is not such a lovely thing tell me what is.


If you cherish someone it means that you have deep love for them. Like a mother who cherishes a long awaited baby. Such a one will smother the little baby with so much love and affection. All her actions communicate just how much the baby means to her.


Or like a couple that has found lost love. When they come back together it is with so much zest and they find pleasure in rekindling their love for each other once more. This time, they are all set to make it work. And it usually does work well for them.


Same case with the teenage girl who learns to cherish her friends after falling out with them for a while. Usually the friendship is smothered with so much care it usually lasts so much longer after those formative years.


And so it is that for all relationships to work well we need to nurture them well. Only in the presence of this kind of commitment can we get the kind of warm feeling associated to those that we care deeply about and by extension share in the knowledge of God's love for us by providing such wonderful people in our lives.
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