31 January 2017

I refuse to let go

I am back from a long absence away from here. During the time I was away, a lot happened in my life some which left me thinking a lot of things. For instance, I catch my thoughts going towards life even more. Thoughts such as the meaning of life and the reason things happen as they do remain prime on my mind. I am yet to find the answers that I seek, some that appear to be taking longer than I expected. 

A lot has changed in my life lately, part of which was brought on by experiences had recently. I am more at peace with the world reason being that I have decided to let go of what am unable to change. I have an easier relationship with those close to me simply through allowing them to be. No longer have exaggerated expectations of others having realized that no matter what happens in life the world moves on unabated. 

Much of what has changed for me is brought on by realizing that I can only do so much. After doing what I can I then step aside and let the tide flow. I must add that I do not, however, do nothing more as I have realized the power of fighting on my knees. This is my new secret, one I wish I learned earlier on in life. I no longer suffer undue stress and anxiety as I did during the times when I thought I could take life on by my strength and wisdom. 

Might sound as if I have let go of a lot of things, right? The answer to that is yes and no. For even though I no longer carry some unnecessary burdens I refuse to let go of what is rightfully mine. That being what I know God has set aside for me and my loved ones. You see, deep inside I am a fighter. I have fought some tough battles in my life, some that cause me to wonder how on earth I managed to pull through. The knowledge that God was there all along fighting for me makes me long to keep pushing through. He was there alright when no one else was, and those left standing with me did not know what to do. During the long grueling hours of the night when I cried my heart out for his mercy he was listening all the while. One thing that remains stamped in my heart is the fact that God does come through no matter how dark the night might seem. 

I refuse to let go of the inheritance God has for me and mine. I will not sit back and accept what life throws at me but will fight for what he has set aside for me. It doesn't mean that since I appear laid back about some things I have let go. Like I said earlier on, it is no longer physical but it sure gets done on my knees. 

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